Avatar - I can't let it go!

After removing my 3-D glasses at the end of my recent viewing of “Avatar”, I gave a four word review.

Best. Picture. My. Ass.

There’s no denying that James Cameron is an effects wizard, and he’s outdone himself here. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that “Avatar” is a trailblazing film.
That, however, doesn’t make the BEST film – or a GREAT film. It’s not even close to either.

But it will win lots of awards. I wouldn’t be surprised if it won BP. Why? Well, if you’re going to rip off other films (which this does in DROVES), they may as well be BP winners and box-office smashes. The only other question is whether it’s plagiarism if you steal from yourself, which Cameron does – liberally.

Let me count the ways:
• Protagonist Name: Avatar – Jake; Titanic – Jack (There ARE 25 other letters, you know).
• Major Destruction Scene: Avatar – a tree falls; Titanic – a boat sinks (If a tree falls in the forest with pretty colors, does it still matter that it fell?)
• Stupid Amorous One-Liner: Avatar – I See You; Titanic – I’ll Never Let Go (The only thing I want to see is closing credits)
• Key Song: Avatar – My Heart Will Go On (but slower); Titanic – My Heart Will Go On. (With a run time this long, it sure does go on AND on)
• Death of a major character. (Anything more would be a spoiler)

And it’s not just “Titanic”. A rallying battle speech needs only a kilt to be “Braveheart” (complete with foreign accent). Humans moving between worlds are in tanning-like beds (ala “The Matrix”). The “slaves” rally against those trying to colonize/rule them, although Russell Crowe’s “Gladiator” is nowhere to be seen. The ending speech, detailing human-alien relationships and done via voice over, needed only Peter Cullen’s voice to be “Transformers” (Critics HATE Transformers, but the comparison exists just the same.)

I also noticed several large tie-ins with the other effects pioneer of my generation, George Lucas. Just like “Star Wars”, Cameron has brought an entirely new cinematic experience to the screen. He even used Skywalker Studios. And there’s more!

Pandora is a dazzling world – so much so that you don’t want to leave it. When you do leave it and Cameron starts directing humans, it’s clear he’s out of his element. The human characters are stereotypical and one-dimensional. The writing is even worse – laughable at times.

Did I enjoy the “Avatar” experience? Sure. I’m not taking anything away from the trailblazing spirit behind the film, and I’m sure that this film will spawn endless imitations. It’s just a shame that the writing, pacing, and character development aren’t even close to catching up with the technology.
And by the way – it’s not the most fun I had in a theater in 2009. That would have been “Star Trek”, where, upon its conclusion, I had a “O” look on my face and gave a one word review – “Perfect”.

"Avatar" - Rated PG-13, 162 minutes (**) only because the effects were spectacular otherwise it probably would have been a -*