Don't be a Mimi!

I’m sure by now you’re all aware of the huge hype surrounding the new “it” film – “Paranormal Activity”. It’s tops at the box office, dethroned “Saw”, made several million dollars while only costing pennies to make, scarier than any movie EVER, could make you physically ill, and could be the greatest thing since pepperoni and pickles (not together, of course). You’ve just GOT to see it or basically the cinematic world will end.

Sorry, I’m not buying. I’ve been asked repeatedly if I was going to see it. I wanted to – then I didn’t. I thought it was a great marketing idea. Then I read it was already going to be wide – regardless of the internet buzz and felt scammed. But the kiss of death for me was when someone said “you need to see this in a theater”.

I have a big problem with that, because most moviegoers simply cannot hold their horror. I know that modern horror movies are supposed to be fun – and some are. I saw “My Bloody Valentine 3D” in a theater and loved it – along with the other twelve people in the audience.

But according to the box office, chances of my getting an audience like that are slim to none. Take my not-so-recent horror double feature pairing “Final Destination 3D” with Rob Zombie’s “Halloween 2” remake. FD (which wasn’t that great) was first. Directly behind my 6th row seat was a young lady I’ll call Mimi. You all know Mimi. She screams - CONTINUALLY. Mimi starting screaming at the 3D trailers, including Disney’s “A Christmas Carol”. That right there showed me that Mimi, or maybe I, was in the wrong place. This is FAR from an ideal cinematic experience.

I tried to drown Mimi out. The theater owners had the same idea by turning up the volume. I tried to concentrate on the film (not that there’s much to concentrate on). But there was no stopping Mimi. She yelled, talked back to the screen while hiding her eyes and acted like an idiot through the entire film. Given that 3D films are more expensive to see, I was NOT missing the movie because of her.

In contrast, the “Halloween” group, albeit smaller, didn’t say a peep. They gasped when appropriate, looked confused sometimes (see it and you’ll understand) and had an appreciation for Zombie mixed with David Lynch with a dash of Cronenberg. (The film is much better than expected by the way, and I’ll blog about it when it reaches DVD.)

So, to recap, will I see “Paranormal Activity”? Yes, I am – this Tuesday after work. (I can't have my cinematic world end, can I?) I’m hoping I’ll have the chance to get more into the film and less into the audience. I don’t really have high hopes - “Blair Witch” left me bored, not scared.
But please – if you see a horror movie in a theater, TRY to remember you’re not in your living room. And if you’re with a Mimi, have date night AT HOME.